


No One Can Take Me Out Of This Mess (I Do It To Myself)

by Anonymous



Series: The Big Game [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Bisexual Mike Wheeler, Boyfriends, Break Up, Coming Out, Crying, Falling In Love, Football, Gay Will Byers, Heartbreak, Homophobia, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mild Language, Self-Destructive Tendencies, Self-Hatred, Senior year, Ted Wheeler Being an Asshole, The Author Regrets Nothing, Will Byers Is Not Okay, but not by choice, mike is a jock, the party, threatened outing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 09:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20133484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: A self-doubting Will breaks up with an already frustrated Mike for reasons he can't fully grasp.





	No One Can Take Me Out Of This Mess (I Do It To Myself)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sammy1983Moose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammy1983Moose/gifts).

Senior year had approached fast as summer transformed into fall in the small town of Hawkins. Autumn had only ever meant one thing to Will Byers, and it was the most chilling time of year. All of the years he had spent during the fall, alone and at his lowest, they rushed back to him all at once as he sat in the driver's seat. He shifted his car into gear, pulled out of his driveway and set off down a back road toward Hawkins High school. Not ordinarily would he be caught dead there on a Friday night… except for the past three years.

But tonight marked the start of football season: he got to see his boyfriend dominate the field. And that was worth a Friday night if you asked him.

The thing is… Mike Wheeler never wanted to play football, not in a million years. And Will knew this—and it was never something they discussed due to the context of Mike’s newfound hobby. But when Mike’s father caught him and Will sharing a kiss on the front porch after all the others had left following a long day of campaigning—he didn’t say anything at all, he didn’t have to say anything. Mike knew how he felt about his own son loving another boy. But he made Mike join football, no questions asked. And he did say that if he quit, his mother would be told immediately. That could absolutely not happen.

The thought made his stomach turn within him, the fact that he played three years of a sport that he despised so that his own father wouldn’t expose to the world who he truly was. He thought to himself, how is that fair? How is any of it fair? And why did it make a difference whether he liked boys or girls? Why did he have to choose? He’d liked girls before he’d liked Will. So why couldn’t he like both?

But, in fear he proceeded, three trips around the sun, filled with hours of practices and nights spent parading himself in front of his classmates for a dumb game he had to learn to understand in order to stay on the team. It wasn’t like he’d ever been the most naturally athletic person. He definitely wasn’t. But he learned and he got good.

Will found his foot on the brake as he parked his car and headed toward the brightly lit stands where true fans of Hawkins high sports showed their true colors, and their school spirit. Will found the rest of the party in the stands, waving to them. They waved back, gesturing for him to come sit. He awkwardly stumbled through the bleachers with a few muted apologies and some, “oh, excuse me’s”.

Max and Lucas sat side by side clasping hands as Max used her free hand to wave, Lucas smiled. El and Dustin sat together, talking instead of paying attention to what was happening on the field. He took a seat next to Dustin.

For a lot of the game, they mostly talked amongst themselves as none of them were super into sports. Being there for Mike was more of a moral support thing than actually taking an interest in the game itself. At one moment, Will could see the curls in Mike’s hair peeking through the front of his helmet. He smiled to himself briefly. How did he get so lucky?

The game was successfully won thanks to the hard work of the team and motivation from the crowds. The party scampered across the bleachers collectively, they headed toward Mike as he removed his helmet.

“Good job!” Lucas and El said. Will, Max, and Dustin all leaned in for a big group hug.

Mike smiled awkwardly, muttering an embarrassed thank you. Will smiled at him, tilting his head up a tiny bit. His lips curled slightly upward into a smile in Will’s direction.

Before everyone left, Mike declined a post-victory party with the rest of his teammates. After, the two boys waited for all the cars to clear out of the parking lot before they sat down on the bleachers. A row away from each other.

Mike was quiet tonight, and he was never quiet. Will had always been the quiet one.

“You okay?” Will spoke gently.

“Fine, just, pissed off I guess. I’ll get over it”

  
“Any reason why?” He prodded. He hated to but it made him feel like Mike was mad at him.

“I never wanted to play this dumb sport anyways and now I’m getting college scouts that come to the games and see me play and offer me spots on teams I don't want to play for. I don’t want a football scholarship. I don’t want to be miserable for all of college.”

“A scholarship’s a scholarship.” Shit.

“What? For a game that I only started playing so my dad wouldn’t out me? You know how I feel about it-“

“c’mon Mike,” He frowned, “y’know I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that whether it’s football or not you’ve still got the chance to go to college.”

Mike’s faced softened, “I don’t think I can leave you. I’d feel really guilty.” His soft expression turned to a frown.

“Why does it always turn into this.. you staying here for me to help me. I don’t want that. I don’t want your help, Mike. I want you to be happy and I don’t know if that’s possible with me around.”

“Why do you always doubt yourself?”

“Why is that such an issue? All I do is mess up your life.”

“Why-“ Mike started.

“Because I’m so fucking in love with you… and you see that! But what you don’t see is the hurt and the worry… this fear that if I can’t put a smile on my face for you, then you’ll never see me as anything more than broken… in need of your _help!_” He yelled, “And sometimes I think…I think that the only reason you love me is because you find purpose in taking care of me. I don’t want that to be the case.” He bit his lip in contemplation as Mike sat on the second row of bleachers only a row up from him.

The football field was empty, the artificial lights beat down on the neon grass.

“I love you with everything in me… but that’s not how I feel about you and to be honest it’s kind of hurtful that you think there’s even the slightest chance that that could _ever_ be true.” Mike stood up, dumbfounded when he began his first round of anxious pacing.

“I’m just so tired of feeling like a chore-“

“-you’re not a chore, Will. You’re my boyfriend and I try to be there for you. I’m sorry that my _help_ isn’t helping you.”

“I get it, but I just—” he sighs. “I need to be alone. I should go.”

“Will, you can’t just leave!”

“I can.” He said, “maybe we both need to be alone for a little while. I love you. Goodnight.” as he frowned and kissed Mike’s forehead.

The walk back through the parking lot was so painful. He kept it together until the second he got to his car, he opened the door, sat down and didn’t turn it on. He beat the steering wheel with his fist.

“Damnit… God Damnit!” He said as he broke down, sobbing so hard he thought he might parish.

He rubbed his eyes he cried and regretted the past hour, regretted even coming to the game. How could he be so self-destructive? He got himself into this mess. And then he thought about Mike, his dear Mike.

Mike blew right past his dad as he walked through the front door and said, “screw you.”

“Mom,” he commanded Karen’s attention, “I’ve got something to tell you.”

“What is it, Mike?” She asked gently.

“I’m bisexual. I like girls… _and_ boys. Also, I’m quitting football.”

“Well. I’m happy you told me, and I support you. But what does this have to do with you quitting football?”

“Well… I only joined the team so that dad wouldn’t tell you that I was bi. He caught me and Will, he’s my boyfriend, or, well, maybe—I don’t know. We got in a huge fight after the game and he told me that we both needed to be alone-“

“Theodore Wheeler! Get in here… We need to have a talk. Now.” She said, and then quickly directed he attention back to her son.

“We can talk about this when I’m done yelling at your father.”

“Okay, yeah, I’d like that.” He replied, and walked slowly upstairs to his room.

_As soon as he talked to Will…_ he thought to himself, _everything would be just fine._


End file.
